YEADON, Pa. – A Pennsylvania man is facing more than 500 charges after investigators say they discovered more than 100 human skeletal remains in his home.
Authorities said 34-year-old Jonathan Gerlach broke into mausoleums and gravesites multiple times at Mt. Moriah Cemetery in Yeadon, Pa. since Halloween.
Eh. They are already dead. Who cares?
You can fuck my corpse when I die.
Cool beans. See ya then, neighbor!
Brilliant.
Donald Trump, 2026 (colorized)
Real Frank Reynolds vibe right here!
I hereby donate my body to freaky shit upon the primary condition that it is funny as all fuck.
If medical science wants my cadaver for training purposes, my will has a clause that they must also use me in the same school’s theatre group as a comedy prop, manequin, puppet or ventrilloquist dummy. Limit one Hamlet a year. Unlimited stand up. Mannequin wearing school colours in the campus bookstore is also acceptable as a default resting place in between better uses as long as I am wearing classic Ray-Bans.
If some big tiddied goth girls or cultists wanna commune with the dead, conjure demons in profane rites or perform weird sex acts, I approve but the school colours and Ray-Ban rules still apply in perpetuity.
You drive a hard bargain. OK if the 'Bans aren’t exactly new? Flexible on tiddie dimensions?
Very.
Dude that guy was bustin his balls to get those skeletons. What a pace.
I don’t want anybody to get an infection from fucking my corpse, they’re going to have to sterilize me to have my corpse fucking permission.
We might want to start using spoilers on the comments in these threads, I think we crossed the NSFW line a ways back.
You don’t fuck corpses at work? Your funeral home must be one of them fancy ones.
10-4