Guess you don’t have kids yet! By 18 months most kids are scooting around the house on their own two feet, but they can’t talk very well. They can totally hide things if they think they’re about to get told off though.
My toddler “lies” all the time, but how do you determine whether they mean to deceive or if they think they’re communicating something different?
For example, if I ask “are you sleepy?” and they responded “No” when they clearly are, is it because they understand the question as “Do you want to take a nap?”, or do they understand that “sleepy” refers to the physiological sensation they’re currently experiencing and are lying about it to avoid having to nap?
haha yeah there are definitely gray areas! I was thinking of simpler cases, for instance you go into the kitchen where your 15 month has just run, and when they see you, they almost reflexively hide the item they’ve taken off the worktop behind their back.
This is what happened to me this week with my granddaughter, the item she’d taken was a banana so she wasn’t about to get told off - not that I her granddad would ever tell her off for anything!
I don’t think the situation you describe is any different. Do they understand that they’re not allowed to have this thing regardless of whether they’re seen or not? Or do they think that there’s some arbitrary rule where they’re allowed to have it only if they’re not discovered? Do they even have a concept of what it means for something to be “allowed”?
Meeep, wrong. My child is older than 18 months and doesn’t “deceive” me. How could they lie, if they still try to figure out that whole language business? I’m not “telling them off”, though, so maybe they don’t develop some kind of weird mitigation strategy.
That whole narrative reeks of that “babies are tyrants that need to be taught how to be proper people” bullshit.
And asking parents about the behaviour of their children is anything, but proper developmental science.
Where have I ever said anything of the sort. I said that children under a certain age lack the social understanding to be deceptive. In order to be able to deceive someone, you need a theory of mind.
It would be wonderful to see some research backing your anecdotal claim, otherwise I would simply have to assume your toddler may be experiencing delayed development
Guess you don’t have kids yet! By 18 months most kids are scooting around the house on their own two feet, but they can’t talk very well. They can totally hide things if they think they’re about to get told off though.
My toddler “lies” all the time, but how do you determine whether they mean to deceive or if they think they’re communicating something different?
For example, if I ask “are you sleepy?” and they responded “No” when they clearly are, is it because they understand the question as “Do you want to take a nap?”, or do they understand that “sleepy” refers to the physiological sensation they’re currently experiencing and are lying about it to avoid having to nap?
haha yeah there are definitely gray areas! I was thinking of simpler cases, for instance you go into the kitchen where your 15 month has just run, and when they see you, they almost reflexively hide the item they’ve taken off the worktop behind their back.
This is what happened to me this week with my granddaughter, the item she’d taken was a banana so she wasn’t about to get told off - not that I her granddad would ever tell her off for anything!
I don’t think the situation you describe is any different. Do they understand that they’re not allowed to have this thing regardless of whether they’re seen or not? Or do they think that there’s some arbitrary rule where they’re allowed to have it only if they’re not discovered? Do they even have a concept of what it means for something to be “allowed”?
Most toddlers can learn to sign.
Meeep, wrong. My child is older than 18 months and doesn’t “deceive” me. How could they lie, if they still try to figure out that whole language business? I’m not “telling them off”, though, so maybe they don’t develop some kind of weird mitigation strategy.
That whole narrative reeks of that “babies are tyrants that need to be taught how to be proper people” bullshit.
And asking parents about the behaviour of their children is anything, but proper developmental science.
Sounds like your kid is an excellent liar.
Sure thing, stranger on the internet: teach me things about my toddler. /s
If this toddler is the first child, there’s a whole fuck ton you don’t know yet. Good luck.
Yeah, sure. I’m raising a manipulative tryant. /s Shut the fuck up, you arrogant prick.
You sound like an excellent parent.
Thanks, doing my best!
Oh I’m sure your child is a little angel that will never lie, hide things from you or do anything naughty.
Congratulations you’re the one parent in all of human history to figure it all out!
Where have I ever said anything of the sort. I said that children under a certain age lack the social understanding to be deceptive. In order to be able to deceive someone, you need a theory of mind.
It would be wonderful to see some research backing your anecdotal claim, otherwise I would simply have to assume your toddler may be experiencing delayed development