Welp, guess he’s not dead after all.
American gerontocracy.
The only vegetable in America that hasn’t been recalled.
One of two things are happening here:
Or
Rigor mortis is the only thing that keeps him sitting up.
he is a lich, lindsey’s soul only half-reanimated his body.
Someone paint ACME on his chair and wait for falling boulders.
Some one brought something up when I shared to discord;
he’s a millionaire, why is he riding around in a Travel Wheelchair? (cheapest, least comfortable option, usually only used when travelling for the fact that it can be collapsed quite small for car journeys)
Because accessibility is DEI.
/s
He’s a Chucky Cheese animatronic.
Or just cut the middleman and make sure he is 🤷♂️
One of the worst Americans in the history of this country. Hopefully he doesn’t last much longer.
How long can they move him around before the wire implants degrade?
He heard a vote about paid sick leave was presented, and so had to come in and vote against.
Somehow, Mitch McConnell returned
Dang, I only spotted your comment after posting the same joke. Here, have an upvote instead.
Tbh I was really surprised I didn’t see this particular joke when I posted it
Is it a joke? No one truly expected Mitch McConnell to return
Sure, but this specific combination of words was selected to mirror the same phrase spoken by Poe in Rise of Skywalker.
The joke is that, like J. J. Abrams, the authors of our timeline are out of ideas and just reuse existing villains instead of creating new interesting ones.
Reporters and photographers were told by Senate staff not to take video of his remarks in the second-floor hallway, even though video is often permitted in that area. Still images were allowed.
From the AP article
Something is fucked for sure with this and they are all covering it up
Video would make his unresponsive condition apparent.
He’s being kept alive.
Is he being “weekend at berinied”?
weekend at MITCH, backstory, his wife chao went to China with his phylactery in order to use lindsey graham’s soul to reanimate the lich.
It’s unfortunate that Jack Burton wasn’t able to finish Mitch off like he did with Lo Pan, but at least he was still successful in saving an innocent jade-eyed lady.
Death, are you sure you don’t need glasses?
Fuck it mate, we’ll pay for your lasik if you want.
Wtf??? That worthless fucking ghoul is still alive???
This is an absolute ass timeline…
You cannot kill that which has no life.
A couple of IV’s of the blood of children and he’s good to go
This is one of the best lines Trey Parker ever wrote.
Nothing good ever happens
they finally was able to ressurect him with his phylactery.
Still no believable video
Only video I saw was him in a car and it was very clear he didn’t even know where he was. Guy is legitimately not there and it’s insane they’re dragging him around for this.
He’s a pos but it’s still elder abuse in the end.
I saw a candid video of him in the wheelchair on the senate floor, talking to people
He looks more decrepit than usual, but I had no reason to think the video wasn’t real
did it have audio that you could perceive his voice?
No, you just see him talking to some people inside the senate. Its sketch that the reports of what he said are only second hand accounts. Still reported by Associated Press, so hard to get more credible… overall suss still.
It’s inexplicable why they are currently and formerly so secretive about his condition. Makes no sense for any good faith reasoning.
i just saw the one video of him in a car and hes clearly a museum exhibit
Yeah, if he was actually able to say any of those lines, it’s probably heavily rehearsed. There’s 2-3 direct snippets associated to him and that’s it. Took no questions.
