Every day when I wake up, the first thing is to check my phone if that fucker’s dead yet.
I think you just explained why I do this. I thought I had just developed an addiction to the news over the past six months, but this hit me.
Matrix has you
What’re you tryin’ to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?
No, what i am saying is, you won’t have to
Do you think that’s RSS you’re reading?
This hook you’re describing is intentional
And putin.
- Netanyahu
- Musk
- Charles Koch
- The Ellisons
- Bezos
- Peter Thiel
- Ted Cruz
- Lindsay Graham
- Greg Abbott
- The Sacklers
- Viktor Orban
- Alexander Lukashenko
- Chuck Schumer
- George W Bush
- Dick Durbin
- Robert Pittman
- Maziar Mike Doustdar
- Darren Woods
- Tom Hanks (he knows what he’s done)
- Jacek Olczak
- Erik Prince
- Christopher T. Calio
And many many more…
Edit: not saying that I actively check all these, I’m saying that these are (mostly) other prime examples of people whose demise will likely noticeably benefit humanity as a whole.
Is the Tom Hanks thing a joke or do I not know something
“Yes” to the former, “probably” to the latter 🤷🏻
I would assume it hints to this video of Tom Hanks and Arya Starks list of people she wants to kill
Tom Hanks, but no Garth Brooks? The man’s a monster
He’s not important enough to be specifically named but he’s included in “and many many more” 😉
Nah, Garth Brooks is alright, but Chris Gaines is probably a serial killer.
Chris Gaines is definitely responsible for all the bodies. That’s why Garth can never remember any of it when confronted. Advanced Disillusionary Schizophrenia with Involuntary Narcissistic Rage
Without your edit I was gonna be like damn man, that’s a lot of people to be waking up each day checking to see if they died yet.
Perfect 👌
Should make bingo cards.
There’s definitely a list. But Trump is number one.
For me it’s him, Putin and any billionaire.
Is there a newsletter but it’s just about what evil person has died for that day? I feel like there’s a good market for that.
How do I sign up for this?
I check the front page of the newspaper for obituaries. The guy says they’re in the back. I tell them not the one I’m looking for.
Same, friend. Same.
Or if he has dropped a nuke yet.
Why would you want to start pretty much every day with depressing news?
There will be a day when it’s not depressing.
Has he considered the ratings he’d get with a death announcement though? They’d be like no one has ever seen. Bigly.
If they make a death announcement and then he shows up on TV again in 3 days, it will really feed into his base thinking he’s literally Jesus.
Please don’t give them any ideas….
I mean they might also blame his death on Iran.
I bet that’s exactly their plan with this
Are there any online bedding places with a spike in Trump dead bets? That’ll be the easiest way to know before it gets announced.
There’s been no real spike in Trump out of office by 2027 market recently but it’s crawled up a point in the last day. I doubt you’ll find anyone to take a bet on death, to easy to fix (we should be so lucky) but there are several online betting markets that will take your action on out by the end of the year for whatever reason.
I should take a bet that he stays in office.
That way, either way – I win!
Literally hedging your bets.
No what you want to be looking at is if anybody’s making any unusual stock investments. Is anyone acting as if suddenly the tariffs are going to be going away very soon?
I think that’s what they said .
With the backlash that happened from The Death of Superman, I agree that he should definitely do this.
I’ve heard of kill the messenger. Give the messenger a congressional medal of honor!!!
Except that congress isnt worth much either. Might as well be a FIFA medal of honor.
Instead of a Presidential Medal of Freedom, a medal of freedom from the president.
Maybe people around the world should celebrate his death, even though he’s alive, just so he can see how many people hate him.
Are the No Kings protests not enough?
Is there really a limit for how much hate he deserves?
Ask god
…I mean, we’re still stuck with a king, sooo…
No
Demonstrably not.
That can be the theme of the next No Kings protest. I bet we crack 10 million people for that.
What would you say is the percentage of people on this planet waiting to see him finally die, something like 98%?
Russia thinks the Trump Presidency is amazing for them. First Trump cuts support for Ukraine, then Trump blames Ukraine for keeping the war going by dastardly not surrendering to Russia. And now Trump is raising global oil proces, radically increasing the income of the Russian state. All while delegitimizing the US.
China probably cheers on the weakening of US power too. And US Republicans also overwhelmingly supports Trump, for reasons known only to them.
So if you add up Russia and China (enemies of America) and Republicans (but I repeat myself), way less than 98% of people wants Trump dead.
Don’t forget wasting all our missiles and munitions in Iran so we won’t have a stockpile when we or one of our actual allies gets attacked.
Yes. “All”. Your “actual allies” get attacked. Good grief. Isn’t it exhausting to see enemies behind every tree?
But again, don’t stop, the entertainment value is unmatched.
It is so funny USAmericans need to blame Russia for your own shitty corrupt settler colonial society instead of just taking responsibility. It isn’t Russia. If anything the government in Russia is the result of US actions, not the other way around. You literally over threw the Soviet Union with color revolutions than installed Yeltzin there then worked with Putin for a long time before deciding to shift the blame to him. You are the evil ones. You are the illegitimate ones. Death to the USA.
My goodness conspiracy theorists are always so fun to watch.
Did Putin also cleverly wait for Biden to be president to invade?
The plot goes deeper than you think!
lol you guys are great!
“So if you add up Russia and China (enemies of America)”
I see, but you let your great industry leaders outsource all their manufacturing to China. Unless… China controlled them all since the start even when China was a bunch of fishing villages!!
Oh boy you guys. Don’t stop. You’re better than a convoluted '80s soap opera!
english as a second language much?
Bah. You’ll know he’s actually dead when it shows up on Polymarket.
There has never been a President who has worked harder for the American people than President Trump. On this Easter weekend, he has been working nonstop in the White House and Oval Office.
If you count warcrimes, white collar crimes and golf as work, then sure. But for the American people, not so much. Everything he does is for his criminal enterprise.
But pleeeeeaaaaase don’t be dead Donny. JD is so much worse.
Watch that asshole make an appearance tomorrow and his idiot followers will call it proof that he is the Second Coming of Christ…
I still don’t get how they don’t see the Antichrist comparisons. Though their Bible—which they know fuck all about—covers the Antichrist idiots being easily deceived too.
I actually have a theory about that. Regardless of whether you believe that the Bible is divinely inspired or not, clearly its authors knew a lot about human nature.
Humans haven’t changed much in 2000 years. Narcissistic assholes existed then, they exist today. Some scholars think that the authors were really describing Emperor Nero. It’s not a stretch to think that a description of Nero back then might sound a lot like Trump today.
Wouldn’t be surprised. Much of the Bible is just straight up plagiarised from Mesopotamian culture and stories. Why stop the slapdash there? May as well add in a “Fuck the Romans” bit and pair them to one of the
monstersbeasts.
TBF, the Antichrist (as popularly understood) doesn’t really show up in the Bible and is a character created largely in the 20th century by Voltron-ing together a bunch of obscure passages. In the Bible, the term is used like four times and refers to people who are, literally, anti-Christ. (source: am Episcopal priest who escaped fundamentalist Christianity and has spent an inordinate amount of time studying the Apocalyptic writings in the Bible)
There’s a segment of Christianity that thinks someone like Trump will bring about the rapture so they support him fully.
Yeah, they’re full blown “the End Times are nigh, and we’ll all be raptured to heaven if we help it along” level crazies, but they vote like clockwork.
Fundamentalist and Evangelicals struggle with reading comprehension and long-term retention.
Its nice to know that he must make an appearance tomorrow or rumors of his demise will tank the economy further. Since its easter the president must make an appearance.
Are you sure it would tank? It might get a hefty boost…
Please no. Ugh, he’s gonna do it, isn’t he. Why are all of his actions so on the nose and tacky?
Because he doesn’t know any better. He is, truly and actually, one of the dumbest motherfuckers to ever failson his way into a position of power, and this is backed up by testimony of his teachers.
An 8 year old child, or even ChatGPT, can reliably predict his actions in advance because he really is actually that simple. He has specific reactions to specific stimuli that can always be gamed because they’re always the same. Guy operates like one of the ghosts in Pac-Man. If you know how his actions are wired you can lead him by the nose down whatever path you want.
His investors and handlers know this and use it to push their agendas. Everyone else makes the mistake of trying to speak at him like he’s a sapient creature, and that fails to get results because he doesn’t operate like a sapient creature does.
I know it’s probably not gonna happen but man oh man…
would be a shame if he dies before going to a trial for all his past and present crimes
We don’t have to let that stop us
We can size the estate and hold all collaborators to justice, like they do with RICO
Size that thing!
Seize it, then size it , then sell it
We should treat him like an Egyptian pharoah, and entomb him with all of his cabinet members.
That’s too dignified, make a corpse circle like that one ancient site in Germany.
He’s never going to face any meaningful trial for that. Give up on it. Death is the best we can hope for.
It would be super funny if Trump was alive for the denial of his death, but then died immediately after.
Another mini stroke? We’ll see him from a distance for couple of days and then we will appear publicly with a slightly more drooping face.
Another Weekend at Bernie’s
And some new way to fuck up the world further.
But Biden’s too old.
Two things can be true.
Guy literally has cancer. It’s friggin elder abuse what they did.
Trump might have cancer too. Nobody knows why he’s getting all these diagnostic tests over the last year
He’s very clearly got dementia. This can lead to all sorts of secondary medical conditions, a big one being circulation issues which would explain his bruising.
No! Only my! one! thing! /s
Nobody likes a corpse tease.
JD Vance smothered him with a couch cushion.
I think his thing is to smother the cushions.
Keep in mind that the Daily Mirror is a dubiously reliable British tabloid and extremely eager to sensationalize any crumbs they can get. Also keep in mind that baseless social media rumors are extremely easy to start when people want them to be true.
In this case, “forced to deny US president death and hospital rumors” means (per their own article):
Trump’s personal spokesman, Steven Cheung, posted on X: “There has never been a President who has worked harder for the American people than President Trump. On this Easter weekend, he has been working nonstop in the White House and Oval Office. God Bless him.”
It would be actually hilarious if this antichrist-type dies on Easter weekend, but I don’t have my hopes up more than any other day.
I want to believe
Given how truthful the White House press secretaries have been under Trump, that means he’s dead. YAY!
When he actually does croak, I wonder how long they’ll hide it and what lengths they’ll go to in order to keep it a secret…
Oh that’s easy - they’ll hide it until Jan 21. 2027, so that Vance is still eligible for two full terms.
He might begin to smell by then.
He crossed that line years ago.
What if he actually died months ago?
Then they’ve stuffed him with an Optimus which is slowly degrading due to being coated in him.
They will Weekend at Bernie’s him for several weeks I’m sure of it.
Pope Francis, after meeting JD Vance, died the day after Easter in 2025.
It would be infinitely funny if someone else, after meeting with JD Vance, would die the day after Easter 2026 too.
